the lost and the found

soul food.

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:18:50 -0700

prescilla

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she really loves him _______.i tell you.

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:52:47 -0700

knees against my chest, crouching low against the ground. taking and squeezing fistfuls of wet sand. the cold stream water numbing my bare feet. i was making a house in the sand, something small and safe for a smaller me. there was nobody around, the water, the sky and myself to keep each other the company. it was so cold. the wind tangled my hair. i was so tired and it hurt to make my hands into a fist. i laid down gently in the water, letting it surround me, lazily making snow angels in the sand, widening the water's path. and i slept for what felt like days. my body felt warmer in the warmer and my hair was safe from the wind.

i woke up and i was floating in the sand house that i had started making. i became a smaller me quicker than i had anticipated. everything was so unfinished and i was not yet ready. a house with three grainy walls. a house with no roof. but the sun was out now.

small stream

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bash.org

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:53:19 -0700

SergioThree: there's other fish in the sea, man, she's just a girl
Beatsfromkorea: no dude, that's bullshit.
Beatsfromkorea: Think of it this way. if your precious copy of street fighter third strike broke and i told you "it's ok man, there's other games in the sea. here, play mortal kombat instead" what would you say? you'd be like, "fuck that, gimme third strike."
SergioThree: ...
SergioThree: you just reached me on a level that i never thought possible

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hearsay

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:44:48 -0700

[12:41] honeybear: ashley: how are you and selena doing?
me: really good
ashley: oh great! you guys are so cute together
me: lol thanks
ashley: plus she's like a genius

uninvolved third party agrees.
i'm a genius.

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beat.

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 22:27:29 -0700

further it up

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wishing

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:14:06 -0700

[14:26] him: i wish you were here
[14:26] him: i like having you here

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unwell

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:23:47 -0700

e.r.

yesterday was a day of me feeling even worse than i've felt lately. i ended up spending about four hours in the emergency room. needless to say, my health is just kind of deteriorating. as soon as i was actually admitted to see a doctor, i was in so much pain they were just like, "here. take two vicodin." for those of you who don't know me very well... i really don't like doctors, and i especially don't like emergency rooms. i don't resort to either unless i absolutely positively have to. i prefer staying home and letting my illness just kind of work through out. or doing that whole natural remedy thing.

let me just say, that yesterday's (un)health experience not only scared the living soul out of me but it was one of the more painful things i've had to endure in years. luckily, my "diagnosis" wasn't as bad as i imagined it would be. i was really pissed off to see that once we got out of the emergency room that i wasn't allowed to pick up my prescription for two days just in case it goes away on its own. this is one of those ailments where it just isn't going to go away without some kind of medicine.

i'm really glad my mom went with me to the hospital. thankfully, that calmed me down a little. especially after we were admitted. and i'm also glad ela came over after we came home. it was nice to have someone there.

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pointless.

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:27:57 -0700

i wonder if the people who say they'll keep you in their prayers actually remember to pray for you.

or to pray at all.

Prayer

Prayer beads

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rip

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Wed, 28 May 2008 08:53:06 -0700

my grandma died.
i have no words.

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re-cap

nobody@vox.com(selena) — Mon, 26 May 2008 15:36:39 -0700

for those of you who missed it, my memorial day three-day weekend could not have been better.

friday night, jeff and i went to go see indiana jones at the midnight screening at the cinerama. i love that place because the screen is so huge and the seats are so comfy. i have to admit though, i was tired as all hell when that movie started playing. i did like it though, i loved it all the way up until the end. the end killed part of it for me, because it was completely unrealistic and too much, but otherwise, good stuff.

saturday was vashon island. it was a bit hard to get up after getting home at like two or three in the morning from indiana jones. but we got up and jeff came to pick me up and we were off! we drove past alki beach on our way to the ferries, just so we could see it on such a gorgeous day and the place was packed like it usually is on days like the fourth of july. i don't remember seeing that many folks on alki in a long time.

thankfully, the line for the ferry went really quickly and we were one of the first on the ferry so we were one of the first to get off. i liked that. for the duration of the ride we were up on the top balcony, being hit pretty hard by the wind. little did we know we would wish for that wind when we were biking.... anyway...

when we got off the ferry we went straight to the vashon island bike shop and rented two bikes. we didn't have any idea where we were going so we just kind of picked a direction and went with it.

we took a little rest stop under a gorgeous tree and i was very sad that it was so hot. the sun was beating down on us and making me melt, in a bad way. but shortly after this photo was taken, we got back on the road!

CIMG0418

we picked a different road after we left our tree and we came to a small dead end. we were pretty sure that at the end of that road was someone's house and we'd have to turn around anyway so we avoided the muddy puddle and decided to try something else.

CIMG0434

CIMG0433

we spent another hour biking around the island before we had to head back home to make it in time for dinner with my parents and jenny and nihad. we hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, so we were in need of food anyway!

CIMG0437

when we got home, food was ready and waiting, and very noms. we talked about embarrassing things and jeff got to see photos of me growing up. in all of my mismatched spice girls lovin' glory.

and then we played boggle - the birthday gift his mommy got me - and we're tied. 3-3. i will win though. just gimme time. :)

last night was the schoolyard heroes concert. i chose not to bring my camera so i have no awesome and amazing photos. i do however, have awesome and amazing memories.

first band whose name i do not remember was alright.
creature feature kicked ass and i am getting all of their cd's so far today.
aiden blew so hard.
schoolyard heroes rocked.

creature feature was the surprise of the night, i did not know they were going to be so amazing.

schoolyard heroes ended with screaming theatre in a crowded fire - my favorite song - so i rocked pretty hard to that. second to last song was dawn of the dead. and she came up to me and YELLED it literally in my face. if i leaned forward half an inch i could have kissed her she was that close. she also came up to jeff and just poked him out of nowhere. i keep hoping she recognized me. the song lineup was amazing. the crowd wasn't too large so it felt like a very intimate show.

i walked away from that feeling very satisfied.

as for today... it is homework day and clean-up a little day. i don't have much to clean, and i don't have much homework to speak of, so i think it will be juuuuuuust fine. :)

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